Friday, May 27, 2011

I want to go help out at the church today if I can. I feel so blessed and thankful that my house wasn't destroyed by the tornados, but I feel so bad for the people who did lose their house... I cant even imagine what it would be like to lose everything like that... :(

Its kind of scary...

Getting out my stiches in my foot today. Kind of scared about that. And Im kind of scared to have a boy friend. Weird I know... but its a big thing in my book. I take dating very seriously. Which may or may not be a bad thing... but yeah. I really like this one guy, and he really likes me. He's been waiting for me and stuff, hes a really great guy, sweet, christian, caring, not going to be forward or anything like that. So I mean I shouldnt be so scared... its just... im also scared of change. :( I thought I was feeling peaceful about all this yesterday morning, then in the evening I got anxiety and got super sick feeling, so I definetly think right now is not a good time.

Friday, May 20, 2011

He Caught my Attention. :)

I do believe God uses all things, good or bad to get our attention some times. The case with me, I believe God used my foot getting cut open to show me something, to wake me up in a sense. A divine appointment tonight as I watched T.V., a show came on call the CBN 700 Club. At first I had no idea what it was, but came to find out it was a Christian program. I definitely believe God wanted me to see this television program. It was about tithing and giving to the needy and poor, even when you yourself may not be financially secure. This stood out to me so much. Here over the past couple of months, I have been spending hundreds, HUNDREDS on cosplay, clothes, eating out, buying for MYSELF. :( I have barely been even giving in Church... and I've only been worrying about if I'll have enough money for Akon, TnT... gahhh... :( and not just money... my focus has totally only been on Conventions and other non important stuff. My relationship with God... has been put so low on my list of priorities. I barely spend time in prayer or in the bible these days... :( I realize now what God wants me to do. I need to give more, and I need to get back into his word, and spend time with him. I need to spend less money, and I also need to pray more about my future and what God wants me to do with the gifts he's given me. I feel a big part of that will have something to do with China. Every day I should be so grateful and thankful for what I have. Seeing some of the families CBN has helped, really opened my eyes to how blessed I am. I need to realize this every day. Its so easy to forget in America how truly blessed we are. I can't believe how selfish Ive been lately... :( Its going to change tonight though. God has caught my attention and he has it.

Thanks for reading,
Love Cheryl ^_^

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Sea turned into the Moon



The sea turned into the moon. I rocked back and forth on a pirate ship in the sky. Its raining and windy. Good thing I held on tight to my hat, for it would have blown away... I will sail to Neverland tonight. Its beautiful there really... my eyes want to close, and the lighting keeps me frightened and awake, but only for so long. The ocean is deep and I cant stay afloat forever...

"Good night" I whisper to the clouds and I sail through the moon to the other side; to Neverland. And I was never seen again.

Don't do cartwheels in the house... X_X

As most of you already know... yesterday I did a very stupid thing, and accidently cut my foot open. :( I was being dumb and doing cartwheels in the house. Well we have a cabinet in our living room with glass doors, and one of the doors was open. Without thinking I did a cartwheel, and Smack! Hit the top part of my foot right into the glass door, shattering it, and cuting a huge gash in my right foot just above the toes. ;__; At first I didn't even realize I cut my foot. I was more concerned about breaking the glass door, and my mom being mad at me. Then I noticed there was blood splattered on the broken glass door, and then looked down at my foot only to find this huge cut in it. Its weird at first I was like, "seriously, did I really just cut my foot" like I was in disbelief. Then it really hit me and I started screaming. I dont think Ive ever been that scared in my entire life. I went out to the kitchen so I wouldn't bleed all over the carpet and tried to call my mom while I was screaming and trembling. It wasn't bleeding a little, it was bleeding like profusely. Like there was a HUGE puddle of blood on the kitchen floor. Ive never seen that much blood in my life, and for it to be my own blood... *shivers* I could barely sleep last night the whole scene kept replaying in my mind. :( I cried so hard yesterday... man... it was just an aweful day. After calling my mom, she said she was on her way, and she works far away so I knew she wouldn't get there till about 30 mins. So I called Ethan since I knew he lived the closest, and all my other guy friends where at work. I figured guys were pretty used to dealing with blood and injuries, becuse I seriously had no idea what to do to stop the bleeding. So Ethan came over like in a flash, and I really think it was a God thing, because apparently he was out working with his dad on a project, and was actually really really close to my house. So he got there super fast which was a blessing. He helped me calm down and helped stop the bleeding by putting a towel over it and applying pressure. Im really thankful Ethan was there or I would have continued to panic. Any way, my mom showed up not to long after Ethan got there and first took me to an urgent care center to see if they could stitch it up. Well, haha, we go in the back and they pull off the towel and all of them were like, "AAAGGHAAAA! Thats way worse then what we thought over the phone" (my mom had called before hand and told them what the cut looked like) lol XD So they were like telling us we needed to go to the ER at Mercy since it was closer, and said I needed a specialst to stitch it up, because the cut was very big and deep and could have injured my tendons. So we went to Mercy and I had to wait for a bit before I got seen. And they sent me to the back, which I guess is the more critical part of the ER because I guess the cut was that bad. 0.0 but yeah. So im put in this huge scary room, that looks like something off those movies. and they have to X-ray my foot and what not. By this point my cuts like super nasty looking, like not even kidding my guts and muscles of my foot were like coming out of the cut and were like dark purple looking. EWWW! There was like blood every where! >< Sorry if Im growsing you out. Then they gave me this crazy pain medication... I felt like a blanket of lead had been put on me. I've never felt that heavy and tired in my life. It was nice, but sort of painful if that makes sense. 0.0 It reminded me of the ending of the first twilight movie when Edward is sucking Bella's blood out and her face goes all weird, and she looks like shes tripping out. Thats probably what my face looked like. XD Like it was so trippy. D: then it took a loooong time till the doctor saw me, and when he final came, he had to put some numbing stuff all around the cut, that was the worst part of the ordeal. Man it was painful! then after that it wasn't so bad. I didn't watch because it was to bloody, and painful to look at, but he stiched it all up. :) Im doing better now. Im at home with it all bandaged up and stuff. They gave me a funky shoe to wear around the bandage. lol. *sigh* but Its pretty painful today, and I can barely walk or get around, so Ive been sleeping and sitting most of the day. Its frustrating because its so painful to move or get anything. :P Like if Im going to go to my room to get something I make sure I have everything from my room that I want so I dont have to go back and make a second trip. XD *sigh* They said I cant go back to work till monday, but I dont know if I'll even be able to go back then, Ill have to see. In ten days I have to go get some stitches removed, and also go to a foot doctor ( they have a special name but I cant remember it. LOL XD) any way, yeah, I have to go get my foot checked by a foot doctor specialist to make sure none of my tendons have been damaged and what not. I'm praying they are all ok. I can just barely move my toes. :( but they said thats a good sign. If I do have damaged tendons in my toes I have to have a surgery done to get them fixed. ;_; So im definetly hoping they are ok. >< Also, I dont think Ill be able to drive for a while... I feel bad but Im probably going to need help from family and friends to get anywhere like church or something. :( I hope I can drive agian soon. man. I just feel like a burden... :( *sigh*... and way, I mainly just wanted to post this post to let you all know Im ok. And it should be healing fast I hope. >< I'll be slow to get around for a while, but it will be ok. :) Love you guys!

Sincerly, Cheryl! ^__^

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Life of a Cosplayer :D

Yesterday while I was working on my Namine cosplay, I looked at my room. lol! It was filled with fabrics, patterns, thread, scissors, sewing machine, you name it. I thought to myself, this is the life of a cosplayer. I like laughed out loud, bahaha! Its so fun! Working on cosplay is so fun and rewarding. I enjoy making cosplay so much, helping other people make theirs or working on my own is such a blast! There's nothing I love more then seeing the cosplay start to come together near the end, when all the pices come together and the character begins to really come to life. Im really enjoying helping make Mattie's Azula cosplay. Its helped me get better at sewing too! I learned how to sew a zipper yesterday for the first time! It was a little thing, but it felt so great, and I felt I really accomplished something. XD Hahaha!! Ahhhh its so fun! I cant wait till our next cosplay work day. :D








Isn't this an amazing Toph?!!


<3 *__*


<3 =0w0=

Friday, May 13, 2011

Cosplay Check List :3

Saria:
Have: Tunic, elf ears in mail, contacts in mail, wig(needs to be styled more), boots, turtleneck( needs to be diyed along with head band.

Yuffie:
Have: wig, shorts, headpiece, shoes, shirt, arm pieces
Need: stockings, finish blue straps, possibly redue belt, find feathers for head piece, finish sewing arm pieces.

Namine:
Have: wig coming in mail, contacts coming in mail, shoes, just need to paint them, and have sketch book. :)
Need: sew dress

TyLee:
Have: Hair braid
Need: everything (material, and shoes)

Push Through...

Works been pretty hard lately... and Ive been getting high anxiety... Thinking of Akon helps me push through. Earning money for cons and cosplay. lol! Im like, "Yes, today is pay day! money for bills and cons!" haha! I feel like Im close to a breakdown... so I'm praying it doesn't happen. >< The devil's been attacking me in my self esteem again. I have been feeling ugly because of my face. But Ive been working hard to think more positive thoughts. It helps. >< And when I think about my friends and wanting to make them happy and other people as well I dont think about it as much. :) I hope everyone is doing good! Im so excited to start some more cosplay work this saturday. ^^ Oh and Meghan and Mattie, I cant read your two newest posts. For some reason its saying they arent there. :(

Im so happy today is Friday! :D 27 days to A-kon!! <33333 Lets work hard and do our best! ^_^












I want my blue contacts to come in sooo bad! lol! XD

Monday, May 9, 2011

Tea Time with the Lady Bugs.

Little lady bugs have been visiting me in my garden. ^^ There are so many, perhaps they are gathering with the mushroom fairies to have a tea party. I trimmed my roses back to help them; gave them sopport to grow up right, high, and strong up the rose trelace. When my garden is big someday, I'd like to have a tea party with my dear friends the ladybugs, all dressed in red with black hats. And I'll invite my two best friends, Lady Mattie, and Lady Meghan over for some rose tea, with orange blossom fragrance in the air. We can chat and talk under the shade of the crape murtel bush. Enjoy the summer air we will, and dream of cons only 5 weeks away. hehe... XD











Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Swan Song



Wretched, look at me, I've lost it, melting on the table
In parking lots and markets
I can't help it, I love you like a starfish loves the salty water
Like a selfish daughter

Yet I wrote the words to the swan song
The author of the wrong

And I said what I said and I meant it
But now I regret it

Foolish, how was I so careless
Pawning off my treasure, the envy of an heiress
Now my dollars are crumbled in my pocket
How can I reclaim it?
What if someone's got it?

When I wrote the words to the swan song
The author of the wrong
And I said what I said and I meant it
But now I regret it

How could the world have turned so ugly
I am dying
Could you touch me again?
Touch me again

When I wrote the words to the swan song
The author of the wrong
And I said what I said and I meant it
But now I regret it

These Winds are Changing







These winds are changing.
Into good, so she told her self.
365 days, she's become a new bird.
Purple violets,
They smear into the cloud castles.
Rain is in the air.
Like clean paper,
Her paper soon fills with daydreams.
They fly off;
Like her, a bird,
To the other side of the rainbow.
Blue skys here,
Its raining over there.
Is it here or there?
Waiting by the apple tree.
Must hurry before the apple tree
cedar rusts...

To my Besties

Mattie and Meghan, my two super amazing, super sweet best friends in the whole world. I loooove you gals. I read both of your blogs... *gives you both a big hug* I love you two so much. It makes me so sad to see how much your weight brings you two down. I want to help and encourage you two in any way I can. Dont give up. You two are so beautiful, every time I see you two, thats what I think, beautiful beautiful girls who have hearts of gold, and love the Lord. And God knows the desires of your heart, and he will help you with this as well. I'll be praying, I'll be encouraging, I'll be there always. Love you two so much. Just know, you are beautiful the way you are now, the wieght you are now. Beauty is not measured on the outside but on the inside. And you two have beautiful hearts, and that makes you even more beautiful.