Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Sometimes you have to make your own Choice

ahh HI! yes, been away for a while... Please forgive me. A lot has been happening despite how rutine my life has become. I am changing, things are changing... I can feel it. :) So something happened last friday. My teacher at school came up to me and told me about an oil company called Kimray that was looking to hire a full time Graphic Artist. I was really surprised when me teacher told me to apply for the job. All weekend I was rolling the idea over and over in my head if I should apply?? What if I got the job? How would my life change? What would be the benefits?? Well for one, I know it would be better pay then where Im working now. Yes that would be a definate bonus, it has good benefits there too, and it would be a great great experience, get my foot in the door. But there are cons too... its a long drive, about 45 mins there and back. If I really was full time that would be a lot of gas money, plus my car isn't in the best of condition right now, and I'd prob have to take the turnpike. Well there is a major con, and it may interfier with my schooling. And when I told my teacher today about my concers about that, she was like, "Well my whole point here is to help you find a job, and I can work around it with you, you could probably still go to school or do some online stuff." This really upset me... for one I dont want to miss any of my schooling, right now its really important to me to learn as much as I can while I am there. I dont really want to be focusing on a whole other new job and still trying to go to school. That would just be really hard, and I dont want to do online class work either. I dont have all the programs either to even work on stuff at home, so I dont really know what she was thinking... I want to graduate, get my Associates degree, and then start looking for work. It almost seemed like she was trying to get me out of class. And I know she is just trying to help me find a good job, and I mean I'm thankful for that, but idk if right now is the best time for me to be starting that big of a full time job. But I mean I may not get another opoortunity like this again, so I am afraid I could be missing something imprtant here. I may not get another chance to get this kind of experience. *sigh* There is just so much to think about, and I have been getting sick with anxiety over it for 2 days now. Today at school idk, something just hit me. I dont have to go for an interview, I dont have to do it! I can go after what ever dream I want. And I have one... and I'm going for it. I dont care what others think, if it pays good or not. I'm making my own choice. I want to follow God, and glorify him. I mean I may have been able to there, but I feel called to spreading God's love through my art. I'm gonna take a step forward. And the first step is always the hardest. I may be losing a great chance, but if so, I believe God will open up a door. Which I feel he has had one open for a really long time. :) I just didn't see it till now. So thats what I'm going to do. Any way, I love you all, hope you are all doing well. -Sincerely Cheryl <3


  1. Well I'd say you know you can always apply but you may not even be accepted. If not then there's no problem. If you DO get accepted, then you could try and then decide to leave if you don't like it. All you need is to miss one or two days to decide if you want to go through with it, and that's not very much.

    1. hugs! thanks Yoyo... ;___; I chickened out though sadly and didn't go for it.... :( im undecided how I feel about everything... I have a feeling i may regret what I've done.. :(