This video is dedicated to my very good friend Jace. Love you Jace, thanks for being such a blessing in my life. You're a lovely soul. And you will be in my heart forever. ^_^

The lovely bitter Fall

Every evening the shadows are growing longer from my garden, stretching farther out as the day comes to its setting end. Golden rays and black shadows creep across the ground, and I huddle my arms around me close in my red cardigan. The beginnings of fall are in the air, and the little frost fairies have been slowly beginning to visit by each night, bringing with them a crisp chill in the air. My fall flowers are blooming russet colors, and my roses are happily enjoying the cooler weather. But my heart feels heavy today... I think about him all the time. He doesn't feel the same as I... and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t know what he’s doing, and I can't help but feel alone, and confused. Why does he act the way he does? If that’s his way of showing affection just as friends, then he must do that to every girl? Perhaps I don’t belong in his world... but I wish that I did... I have fallen for him…
This fall is going to be lovely, but bitter sweet...

An Ending to a Day...

The sky was turning golden and dark shadows spread out from the trees, and alone sat the empty bench along side the shore, no one sitting in it today... No one was watching the sunset on this setting day...

A beautiful song I found the other day, wanted to share it with all of you. ^_^

Alone Again

I will tell you about the spiritual things another time...
But for right now, I will tell you what I feel tonight.
What’s throbbing in my heart.
What’s dry on my tongue.
What’s burning in my eyes.

What I feel right now is the emptiness.
I’m trembling, pulling down at the skin upon my face.
Wanting to claw, drive the nails in.
But I can’t.
I’m at a loss, I am lost...
You’re not leaving, you’re not fading...
My inner most part of me is tearing.
I can’t speak.
I stare in a daze.
I’m breathing hard harsh breaths.

I want to pull this pain off of me;
Take it off me.
Take it away from me.
I’m terrified.
I can’t go back to that lonely place.
It was a nightmare there.
And I felt so low.
Please... I don’t want to go back.

I haven't lost you,
But I have.
With time, and with the good Lords help;
I will be able to see again.
But for tonight;
You were taken away from me.
I feel the emptiness growing still.
And I feel so alone again
And I feel so alone...

9/19/10

Music to listen to while you read it. :)

9/19/10

Hello my friend.
My thoughts of late have only been of you.
I think you have been sent to me by God.

Maybe you are an angel?

I was at my lowest point.
So low, I was loosing control.
Hurting myself, and feeling the pain.

I’m learning to love again.
With your council,
You showed me that I am beautiful.
You made me feel like I am worthy.
Worthy of love.

You are real…
You are your true self with me.

But some times I fear you will disappear.
With no warning, or words of farewell
You will be gone from my life like the wind.

With the teachings of love,
Also comes the lessons of trust.
I’ve been lied to in the past
They all walked out on me.
One by one, I was left alone.

Then you appeared,
Like a light from a far away star.

I’m trying to trust the words you tell me now,
As I’m trying to trust in the words of my own heart.

I like you Jace...
Were you telling me the truth
When you told me the same?

Cloud Gazing

Lying on her back, arms under head; she gazed up at the wispy clouds. They were whispering to her, secrets that she didn't yet understand. She whispered back to them, "you are beautiful". A warm breeze blew threw her hair, and tickled her face. The clouds moved more quickly now, they were changing form, and moving to the east. "Take me with you," she thought, "take me to that secret place. The place you float off too in dreams of colors and swirling mountains of cream and castles". The clouds slowed down as did the wind. She earnestly looked at the clouds, mouth agape. The clouds replied with no answer. She sighed, a moment later; they continued to whisper to her. "I'm listening." She said softly. "You have such lovely voices".