Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Blurred Pages

Hello everyone, its been a while since I've written a blog. Im sorry. >< well things have been blurry lately... a lot has been going on. Im torn between staying at the day care, or taking this other job that one of my friends moms offered me. If I were to take the job I'd be starting right after Spring Break... idk... it seems so fast... and saying goodbye to the kids would be so hard, and breaking the news to Sharon, (my boss) would be so hard... I know shed be really disapointed. :( idk... its a tough call... Because my mom says I should take it, because Ive been at the daycare for 2 years now, and I need to try a different job, and this would be a really good one to try, because its an office job, and its right here in Piedmont. Its close and they close at 5, so I'd still have a life. I mean this is a really great opportunity, I dont think I should let pass... But Im so scared to leave the day care. Its all Ive ever known for so long.. and Im really attached to the kids, despite how much I complain about hard days and what not, I still love those kids. :( *sigh* Im just at a loss right now. And I dont have much more time to make up my mind on what I should do. Can you all pray for me, I really need Gods wisdom for this decision.

Other stuff thats been going on... some of you may know about it... but stuff with a guy. A lot of you may know who Im talking about, but I wont say his name on here just in case people are reading this that I dont know about. But any way... things have been blurry in this area as well. He really likes me, and wanted me to give him a chance, so I said ok and last Saturday we went on a date. I mean it went really well and I had a great time. But even so it didnt mean I wanted to start dating or anything. Im still not even sure if I have feelings for him, other than friendship. Lately I think hes been taking it a bit far... :( like asking me if Id say anything if I was ready to date. Honestly at this point in time I dont want a b/f. It'd be nice yes, but its not really whats most important right now in my life. Whats most important to me is that my relationship with Christ has drifted, and Im trying to get back right with with God. And haveing a b/f would be a distraction. Any way... I finaly realized this morning that things are getting to far, because last night I had a dream that he was delivering gifts to me and calling me sweetheart, but in the dream I was feeling sick about the whole thing. Thats a pretty big sign ya know? If Im even dreaming about it. I'm just going to pray that God gives me the right words to say to him I guess... :( *sigh* I always seem to get myself into messes. :( I feel like a bad friend too... Im really at a loss lately...

well I guess on a lighter note I'll talk about some other things. Not everythings been bad lately. I made a new friend at college, her name is Aika. She is from Japan, and she is so kind! ^_^ Im really glad that we are friends. I hope that I can witness to her some time. :) Idk if she's a Christian, but I dont think so. So Ive been feeling a calling to witness to her after we become better friens. :)

lol! lately Ive been having miso soup for lunch every day. Mmmmm... I love miso so much! x3 Well I think thats all for now. Hope everyone is doing well. Love you guys/galls. lol!

Love Cher-Cher Chan ^_^

1 comment:

  1. *hugs* It'll be okay, sweetie. The job thing will work out. I understand that it will be hard having to say goodbye to the kids, and breaking the news to your manager, but, look at it this way -- you can always go back and visit them regularly, and your bosses will understand. At the end of the day, it's a business -- they've demonstrated that to you before when they would just rip you from one daycare to the next to make things easier on the business, right? You going on to pursue another job and take that opportunity is just you bettering yourself for your future, getting more field experience in other areas of work.

    And you kinda' know my advice on the boy stuff, but, I'll just say it here again in case you need to go back to it or something. :3 I would just be honest with him -- straight up sit him down, and look him in the eye, in all seriousness, and say that you just don't want a boyfriend right now. That you're focusing on other parts of your life: like strengthening your spiritual walk, your job situation, and school. If having a boyfriend doesn't strengthen you spiritually, or only distracts you to the point of worrying or feeling sick thinking about it, then you don't need one at this point in your life, and that he needs to try to respect that. He may take it hard, but it's not doing anything for either of you if you don't say something to him soon, or try to be honest with him. If anything, it's only drawing out the situation which in time, only makes things worse. God is preparing your heart for a relationship every single day, so you do have that desire in your heart for a relationship -- but if you have the conviction that it's not the time, then it's not the time, so don't push yourself just to make him happy. It will only hurt you further, and keep you drifting from God further.

    Sorry for the looooong and grueling comment @_@, but, I just felt the need suddenly to put it all down here so you can always come back and read it if you need to. You are a beautiful girl and beautiful soul and are always delightful to be around. I see God working in you, even though you feel like you've drifted -- God's working specifically in your life in a completely different way than He's working in someone else's.

    Consistent prayer and reliance on Him will really help make clear these blurry pages.

    :) *hugs* I love you, and you know I'm always here to talk to.