Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Once when I was searching...

"There is something different in your voice today... seems far off and distant, like you were lost in another world."
"Yes" she says. "I remember vaguely a place I only dreamed of, strange things, like castles in the sky, clouds that never ended, and a girl with blue hair... These were things I once new."
"Dont stop dreaming." then he was gone.

I once long ago had a marvelous dream of creating Cloud Kingdom... some where along the way, I let others expectations of me get in the way, and I started going after their dreams instead of mine. I can't let go of my dreams. Its been so long since I've even thought about Cloud Keepers. I know this is my destiny. I need to create it, some how, some way. I can't really explain it... but I always feel it there. My mom made me go down her path for my life, and I wasted perhaps 2 years going to UCO. I dont know where only an associates degree will take me, but if I can learn the skills to animate by myself I will just create Cloud Kingdom at home, by myself. Im going to put it on youtube, and pray it becomes a hit, you know, like how that one guy made Dead Fantsy. I want to do that, put my stuff out there, and some how get work from it. Maybe some one would see it, like it, then offer to make it into a well made movie? How amazing would that be?! Any way... its really the only plan I've got. After I get my associates degree I have no idea what Im going to do. All I know is I have to make Cloud Keepers.

And to do that, Im going to need the right equipment. So Ive decided Im going to save up for it. Im saving up for a Cintiq21U Wacom drawing tablet, a Mac home computer, Photoshop, and Maya. I dont know how much Maya is going to cost, but I know for the other 3 its going to come to about $4,200. Its a lot, but I think it will be well worth it for my future. Im going to work hard for it. Im thinking of getting a second job to help as well. Im not going to give up on my dream. I really want this. ;_; Everyone tells me I need a Bachelors degree, but what good will that do? *sigh*... Ive been feeling down lately. My life is still not where I want it to be, Im not who I want to be yet, and Im still not 100% certain of what I want out of life, other then knowing I want to make Cloud Keepers. Im discoving more of who I am everyday. Im a completely different person then I was even 2 years ago. Some how, I feel Im starting to become more like Merina, the girl in my made up world who I only wished I was like. When I look in the mirror, I can almost see her looking back at me. :) As weird as that sounds. lol! XD I still have a long way to go, and learn. But I feel just a little closer.

1 comment:

  1. You can do it, Cheryl! I believe in you, and always have since you first started talking to me about Cloud Keepers. It's so awesome to see you so actively going after your dream, I'm so excited for you! And I know you can do it :3

    But also, don't look at those years of your life as a waste; you may feel like that, but everyday is a learning experience, every year is a year to grow and learn. In those two years you witnessed to Chengyan and other Chinese friends; you probably planted seeds of Christ in other people's hearts. You learned a lot through your art classes like anatomy and what not, and you got to spend time with your friends at college and break into the college lifestyle. Sure the university and curriculum wasn't for you, but the years there were definitely not a waste.

    It's good though that you're going after this yourself and not just trying to please someone, or follow your mom's wishes by staying at UCO or something. You've definitely grown up a lot through all of this, and becoming such a mature young woman I feel like a proud mama! ;_____; And now you're in the world you want to be, working towards your goal, so don't let it go! Work as hard as you can. Work like you're working for God's glory, and He will definitely bless you.

    Any design/illustration sort of help you need, just let me know. I'll definitely give you advice or critique or help or whatever you need. XD I want to help however I can! D:

    And now I want to draw you some Cloudkeeper fanart. Yes, I think I will.