This time we will hold on and never let go!

A new year is approaching! I know every year I say this, but I'm ready for new changes in my life this coming year! I want to work harder on so many things! And I really want to stick to commitments I make and not break them no matter what. Like I want to do the 365 days of drawing again. I didn't make it last year, but I really want to try hard for this year to draw something every single day! I dont even care if its just a doodle, but I just want to get something on paper. :D

Next month a couple of friends and myself are going to do the Daniel Fast for a whole month. On the Daniel Fast pretty much the only things you can eat is fruit, veggetables, beans, whole wheats, brown rice, nuts, and water. lol! yeah, it's going to be hard core! But as weird as it sounds, Im really looking forward to it. I want to feel great and be more healthier, and yes even lose a little extra unwanted fat around my hips. XD Lets face it, around the Hollidays is when we pack on the weight, SOOO much FOOD! XD haha! but yes! Im excited, and Im also going to use it as an opportunity to really grow closer to God through it. Like when I'm hungry I'm going to ask God to give me the strengh to not give in to my desires. Sigh, and I feel I have drifted from God in general, I really want to get back on track.

Next year also, Im not sure when but I am going to either get a second job, or just get a new job entirely. Im ready to try something new. Not that I dont like the day care anymore, I love it, its been a great job, with ups and downs like any job, but Im just ready for a new chapter in my life. I want to get out in the world more, have new experiences, learn new things. ^^ yeah... I think it will be good to get out of my comfort zone. XD

I'm excited for 2012! I want it to be a year of new experiences and self discovery! haha! but wow, I also just want to say, 2011 has been an overall great year. It had some bad times, but for the most part it was awesome. I feel I have grown and learned so much, especially about myself. At the beginning of the year, I had really really bad low self esteem, but over the course of this year, I have really grown, and learned to love myself for who I am. I feel happy in my skin, and am thankful for who I am and how God made me. I mean there are still times when I feel down about my appearence, what girl doesn't have those days. But for the most part, I feel really content and peaceful. I feel I discovered so much of who I am, and just a lot of things I thought I knew about myself and what I wanted, actually ended up being completly opposite. But its ok! I love it! I love surprises! XD And a lot of wonderful things happened this year. ^^ I'm so thankful for all the blessings in my life, for all the great times I had this year with friends and family. I wont ever forget them. 2011 has been great, and I know 2012 will be a great year too. A new start to a new beggining. :)


I love the soundtrack from How to Train Your Dragon! I keep listening to it over and over. :D

Why can't I? :(

Sigh... today’s been well blahh... and yesterday... no better. My mom has been really smothering me lately, like to the extreme. She controls me and what I do so much. Like last night... ugh.... it’s a long story, but pretty much my mom got mad at me for the dumbest reason, and controlled me so I wouldn't go to wallmart with Tiger. I feel like a bug being squished under her shoe sometimes... or well all the time. She has controlled me my whole life. Most of the time I can brush it off cause I’m used to it, but other days it just really wears on me... sigh... and then today in my 3D animation class, we have been working on this animation project, and I’m on a team with 3 other people, and well one of the guys in the group was really rude to me. I wanted to snap back at him and be rude back, but I had to hold it in. sigh... it’s just frustrating some times. I’m not mad at him or anything, I think it was also just a mixture from last night, and then being tired this morning, and well, I’m just also having low self esteem day... feeling ugly. blahhh.... it’s been a while since I have felt low self esteem, but we can’t be strong all the time right? :/ sigh... I’m just stressed right now with financial problems. First off at UCO I need to transfer my OLAP over to Francis Tuttle for next semester, and I went over to financial aid to ask how to do that, and no one could help me. They just told me to ask my teacher, but she didn't know either... ugh... and like seriously right now I’m really low on money, what with buying gas all the time, paying my car insurance, phone bills, car problems, I had to get my car fixed two weekends ago, now I need to have the oil changed. I owe my mom 100 dollars, and now I have to help pay for one of my friends bachelorette parties, and it’s just frustrating because they have bought all this dirty stuff for the party that I have to pay them back for. I never wanted to buy dirty stuff in the first place; I think it’s dumb and totally unnecessary. ugh.... I want to have more money saved up so I can buy Christmas gifts. I just hope I can somehow save up more before Christmas. Luckily in one week I'll be able to work more and get more hours in, so hopefully that will help. sigh... sorry for the totally emo post... I just had to get it all out.

So I've decided, and you all can hold me accountable. >< I am not ever ever going to cut my hair again for 2 years. Like I'm serious, no haircuts, no me cutting it myself unless absolutely necessary such as to shape my bangs better until they grow out longer. But I really want long long hair. Just for one time in my life I want it to be really long. Cause once I get older, long hair will be hard to maintain and won’t look as good, so I really want long hair when I'm younger. So I’m going to try really hard to grow it out for 2 years without cutting it. I'm going to take good care of it, put lots of hair moisturizing hair masks and what not on it. I just love long hair, it’s so pretty! And I also want to grow out all my layers and bangs. Here's some pics of how long and what I want my hair to look like. ;_; Sorry again for the emo post, thanks for reading, and I hope you are all having a great day and week. Love you all! Sincerely Cheryl~

Ahhhh the magical splendors of Christmas.

I just love Christmas so much! Everything about it! Yesterday and today I have been decorating the house. Its so fun and strange to go through all our old decorations. So many of them are from when I was a little girl. There are so many memories. ^_^ Hehe, I also found a few little surprises admist all of the boxes of Christmas decorations. I found a pin that you can put on your shirt, but I noticed for the first time that the pin had earings on it! I also found some awesome Santa suspenders, yes thats right, suspenders! XD I busted out laughing when I found them. I'm totally going to wear them to work at the day care. lol! XD I also found this really old goose egg that we have had for as long as I can remember. Its so pretty! Its all hollowed out, and has two little doors that open in the front. Inside is this really pretty forest scene. I will post pics of it below. ^^

But yeah! I just love decorating, and especailly most of all putting up the Christmas tree. I begged my mom to get a real tree this year, but she said no. So Im still happy with our fake one. As long as we have a Christmas tree of some sort. lol! Its so pretty. It makes my heart feel warm looking at it. I love sitting out in the living room at night with the Christmas tree lit, and only one dim lamp going. Last night I sat out in the living room, and curled up in a blanket, and read my book. It was so cozy! ^^ Right now I'm re-reading one of my most favorite books, called the Ancient One! Its a spectacualr book, I highly recomend it. :D I've also been listening to lots of Christmas music, its so lively, and really lifts my spirits! I love all the religious Christmas songs. We have a couple of CD's that are pretty old, but I love the songs on them so much! Man! Im just so excited! Only this week and monday of next week and Im done with my finals. Then its Christmas break! I cant wait to spend more time with family and friends. :) Next week me and my mom are going to bake Christmas cookies too! yay! mmmmm.... but my most favorite part of Christmas of all, is celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, the savior of the world! ^_^

Here's some pics of our Christmas decorations. :)