Saturday, August 11, 2012

Secrets of Truly Happy People



Thank you for sharing this Bubz!! You are truly amazing, and this inspired me a lot, and now I want to share this with all of you.  Love you all!

Sincerely Cheryl. :)

Friday, August 10, 2012

I Caved In...

Hello lovelies. I hope you all had a great week and are ready for the weekend. I know I sure am. :)

Well I may have done something bad today. Idk... at work I notice all the time that everyone teases each other and sometimes the teasing can become hurtful... Well today idk I just reached my limit. Tiger pulled up to the drive through this evening, and one girl like mumbled to the other girl there, "Oh great she's gonna spend another 30mins talking on the microphone." and when I asked what she just said even though thats what I was pretty sure she said, she just played it off. Im not dumb I know when people are talking about me or joking about me. Idk... it just hurt my feelings teasing or not. Cause yeah some of my friends had visited me at the bank earlier that day, but it wasn't like I was talking forever or something, and I was trying to still stay alert if other customers where needing assistance or something. *sigh* I just want people to tell me if I'm doing something they don't like or think I shouldn't be doing instead of teasing me about it. Teasing hurts after a while, and I'd already been feeling self conscious if people were talking about me behind my back. :( Any ways... I decided right then and there I was going to confront her after work because I think she needs to know, I don't think she realizes that sometimes her jokes can hurt. Any ways I confronted her and she seemed shocked, and insisted she never meant to hurt my feelings and said she was glad I told her. Still I feel discontent about the whole situation... was I wrong to tell her? idk... maybe I over worried about stuff again. :( sometimes my insecurities can become a problem.

well, there's nothing I can do now. All I know is I need to work on not worrying so much though... :/

Any way! on another note.... I broke my pact! I had my mom trim my hair tonight. >< she trimmed just a tinny bit though! and my hair, I'll admit really needed a trim. It feels a lot healthier now, so I'm happy. But I'm not going to cut it again for a reeeeaaaalllly long time. lol! :P

So tonight I took time to pamper myself. I did a hair mask, and now I am doing a facial! It feels so good! I'm so happy I don't have to work tomorrow, and I'm so excited about the party! wheeee!!!! ^^ <3333

So yesterday I went out with people at my work to celebrate one of my coworkers birthday. We went to Louie's. It was really good! And outside the restaurant, since its right by Hefner Lake the sun was going down, and it was so pretty and there was this enchanting little lighthouse! I took a couple of pictures of it because It was so pretty, which I will share down below. :) any wayz, I'll wrap this up. Love you all! I'll post again soon with fun photos and stuff about the party! :D

I took these using Hipstamatic on my iPhone. :)


Wednesday, August 8, 2012

One of Those Special Days of Summer

I know this is a little late, but I just wanted to talk about the past weekend. :) On Saturday, it was the kind of day I'd been dreaming about for most of summer. Just a fun day with friends and going on adventures. For the first part of the day we went shopping on tax free weekend which was a blast. :D We all got some sweet deals and good finds. :) Then after that we went to a place far out in the boonies, a little abandoned remains of an old farm perhaps. It was so peaceful and beautiful there, walking amongst the ruins and then going exploring around the house. There was a pretty pond/lake behind the ruins, it was fairly big in size, and it was so nice just to hear the water splashing up against the shore. There were lots of butterflies around the trees too. It was just so nice. I love being outside and exploring. And just being surrounded by friends. It was the kind of day I'd been dreaming about all summer. :) I hope we can have a few more days like that soon. And this weekend we are going to have a tea party/formal dinner with dancing and we are all going to get super dressed up! I can't wait! I'm going to make some new things this time for the dinner as well! Also a very special book came in the mail on Saturday as well! The Last Unicorn! I'd been wanting to read it for a long time so I just ordered it offline. :) I'm so excited to read it, I'm only a little ways in yet, but its already amazing! Well I'll wrap this up. Love you all, and hope you have a great rest of the week! ^_^ I'll take pictures of the party and share them with you all. :D

Friday, August 3, 2012

Inspiration Post #1 :) Let Some Sun Shine In a Dark Place


I'm going to start posting inspirational posts. Things, photos, stories, quotes ect. of things that inspire me and that I think would also inspire others. :) I'm in a serious mental block right now guys.... and I'm not talking about just with art, I mean my whole life. It's like there is a endless black wall blocking my way, my thoughts and actions everywhere I turn. I feel really lost right now and need some inspiration. I decided... I may quit drawing for a while. Take a break from it. Kind of like in Kiki's Delivery Service, one of the characters says "just take a break, don't think about drawing, and then one day before you know it you will be drawing. But we have to all find our own inspiration." I think I want to find what really inspires me, and not just with art, but with my whole life. :)

Thursday, August 2, 2012

About to have a Breakdown....


I really feel like Im about to have a breakdown... I feel so much heavy weight building up over my head and I can't figure out exactly where its coming from.... I know a lot of it is from work... I work too much... I know that.. but I have to to help my mom out... Im sick of the same old conversations at work, the same, same dumb stuff every day, nothing changes, except I'm aging and getting no where... I feel like I'm drifting away from everyone and everything I love... I feel like Im losing close friendships with people because I'm always so busy and they think I'm making up excuses maybe or something... I'm worried everyone is talking about me behind my back. I'm always anxious and feel depressed when I'm at work. I fake a smile... I try to do a good job but I feel I'm just getting by. My heart isn't into my work thats for sure. I stay up late every night trying to do the things I wish I could through out the day, such as cleaning, reading, or especially working on my art. I barely see my mom, I'm barely home, I'm always busy, my days are always planned for me. I want to have time for everyone but I can barely find time for myself. I'm not ready to go back to school... :( I want more time... thats what I really want is time, that's my own and I am in control of what I can do with it. Not little lunch breaks where I go back and forth constantly to work and home. I want whole days to myself, and I want whole days with my friends. I want to go some where, get out of Piedmont and see the world. I want to travel, I want to go to a beautiful forest and be in solitude with nature and talk to God. Life is so busy and crazy and over whelming some times... I really don't think this is how God intended us to live... I really think the Indians had it right. Living in nature and only using what they needed... *sigh* sorry for my rant but I had to let it all out.... and I still have more to go... so bare with me sorry! ><
Ok, I feel fake, I feel I act nice at work but thats not how I feel. I worry people will think all this time its been an act and some day they will see my true colors. I got angry at work and almost cried today because things keep going wrong and I feel like I'm suffocating. I feel depressed! I'm not happy... I can't seem to find joy, or peace... I want God's help... did I mention I feel I'm losing friendships.. :( I'm going to try harder to be a better friend and a better worker, daughter... I just want to do better. I hate feeling this way... I want to be truly filled with joy again... that lasts even when the days are hard and feel they go on forever with no peace in sight... I feel like I'm going in circles and everything is stuck in an endless routine that I can never seem to break no matter where I go or what I do I'm always stuck. I'm so sick of all the negativity in the world anymore, all the vulgarness, lack of respect everywhere I go I see this country crumbling slowly to the ground and it breaks my heart, and it makes me even more sad thinking how much it breaks God's heart... How can people push God out?! I just don't understand... it just makes me so sad...
I dont know what to do anymore... all I can say is I'm trying... and I will keep trying and praying till God leads me down the right path.