A Question I Often Ask Myself

Some times I often ask myself, am I looking for a Prince who actually looks like one(in other words a guy who has good hegine and takes care of himself, dresses nice, in good shape, and im not gonna lie; who is good looking and I am physically attracted to), or should I be looking for an average normal guy, who treats me like a princess even though he may not look that great? I feel some times that I am very shallow, and care to much about appearances. :( I really need to work on this, and pray about it. And, I really shouldn't even be caring about what the guy looks like, my main concern should be if he is a good christian guy or not. But I know, most girls dream of finding a handsome prince. You should be attracted to the guy you want to date or marry though right?

But then, here comes another thought I always think of... what if that handsome prince guy is looking for a beautiful princess(gorgeous girl himself, not an average plain jane)? I know I'm not that beautiful princess... so maybe its unfair for me to be wanting a handsome guy? uh, if that makes snese? 0_o But it just seems like the handsome guys only go for the beautiful girls. They never notice the plain janes. :( ugh... Im so shallow. >< writing this out really makes me see that I am.

But really, when was the last time you saw a handsome prince like in this picture kissing a plain jane girl, and average girl? not very often, not in Twilight, Bella was sopost to be plain in the book, but they made her gorgeous in the movie. In amlost any fairy tale, the princess is always beautiful. I wish guys would care more about the inside than about appearances, and the princess that is in the heart. And its sad, but as I say this I realize, shouldn't I also be trying to do the same thing to guys?

Selfishness is a little Green Monster

Some times I hate you.
You've ruined everything.
You little Green Monster.
You've taken my friends from me.
You've grown in his heart,
grown in hers, grown in mine.
We're drifting.

He dosen't care
about me, about his frinds.
Because of you!
Little Green monster only cares
about himself.
Dosen't care who he hurts.
He's in a process to only gain
for himself.

Before you, Green monster,
we were all friends.
We were best friends.

You infected us.
Like a virus you spread.
Like an oozing sore,
The little green monster keeps
blazzing his eyes.

There's no cure.
We are all using the same
antibiotic.
The little green monster is amune.
But come to think,
this green monster isn't so little
anymore.
Infact, the green monster
is bigger then ever.

Book Fair!!

Today was a wonderful day! I went to the book fair and hung out with my friends. ^^ It was so much fun! Ahh! and they had so many books there! ^.^ It seemed like more than the year before. ^^ I bought way to many books how ever. lol. ^^' but that ok. And the Book Fair was one of my exceptions any way from my previous blog on my reading goals. Now, I have tons of books to read, so I should be set to go for a long time. I'm going to try very hard and not buy any more new books till I finish all the ones on my bookself that I already have. The only way I wouldn't finish a book is if it was bad, like cussing or like um... << dirty stuff in it. yeah. *cough* any way. But thats like the only time I wouldn't finish a book. XD so yup! It was awesome, I found a lot of old books that I'm really excited about, and looking forward to read, I also found a lot of good books in the teen secion, I even found some classics such as the Jungle Book, and The Great Gatsby. ^^ yay! My mom was a little upset with me though for buying so many books. ^^' *sweatdrops* but thats ok. As long as I read them, and enjoy them, it was not a waste of money I dont think in my opinion. :) I'll continue to keep you updated on what books I'm reading. ^__^

Ahh, also the rest of the day after the book fair was so much fun too! I hung out with my friends, and we watched some anime! We watched Oran Highschool Host Club! It was soo good! And so funny and cute, I loved it!! I can't wait to watch the rest of the series some time. ^.^ So yup! It was a fun filled day. I think my friends and I all really needed it too. We hadn't got to hang out in a long time because college keeping a lot of us all so busey and stuff all the time... :( So it was so nice to get to hang out with them today. ^^ <3 I feel so blessed and lucky that I have such wonderful friends. ^-^ <3

Dreaming of Spring

Im dreaming of warm breezy days, where I'm bent over the earth with a rake and a straw hat. Where the earth is starting to show fuzzy green ferns, and buds are starting to open on the trees. Green is quietly covering the land, and the gloomy feelings of winter are slowing fading into the shadows of the setting sun. Im dreaming of dropping seeds into pots, and watching cute little leaves come up to smile at me. I'm dreaming of singing songs while plowing the dirt for my little garden; and of all the wonderful and delightful little herbs and flowers I can plant, and the wonderful trips to TLC that I will be taking with my mom, and of browsing the vast aisles of intriguing new plants. I am dreaming of all this and much more. Can you guess what season I am dreaming of, why it's Spring of course! My favorite Season of them all, and only 3 more months to go! ^__^


-This is my little garden from last year. I know... it is very small. Last year was my very first year to start a garden. In years past, I used to just help my mom in hers. I am so looking forward to working on it this year. ^__^



-I love this picture. ^__^ Its so pretty. I've always dreamed of having a garden like this. ^__^ Or visiting a garden like it. It's just lovely. ^^

Reading Goals

So, I have decided that I am going to set some reading goals for myself for this year. Here is what they are. ^__^ I would really love to read acleast 15 books this year... which is actually not that many, but I am a really really slow reader. Lol! I love reading, but I am just really slow. ^^' But Im getting faster all the time. Haha! ^^ Any way, yeah, haha, thats one of my goals because I think last year I only read maybe 8 books... not very many... :( I hope to read even more than 15, but I don't want to push it. lol! XD College dosen't give me much time to read. :( Also! My other goal, is to read all the books on my book shelf that I haven't already read. I have bought so many books, but havent read them all yet. :( I really need to just read all of them first before I buy anymore new books. So thats my goal also to not buy anymore books until I have read all of the ones on my bookshelf. Except for one exception, which is the book fiar that comes but just once a year. Haha, so if I dont have all my books read by then, that is my one exception. I just love the book fair! I have to buy acleast a few books. ^^' All hard backs are only a $1, and all paper backs are .50cents! Its so much fun, and they have sooo many books, and amazing prices!! Some people go in there with suitcases and get tons of books! XD lol! So yup! those are my goals!! Wish me luck! XD I'll keep you all updated how its going, and what books I've read or are reading, and give like reviews and input on what I thought about the books. ^^

The book I am curently reading right now is called Castle in the Air! Its really good so far!

Antique Clothing?

I was nosey today, and snooped in my mom’s closet. I found this skirt! ^^ And fell in love! I loved the color and pattern on it. This skirt was my moms when she was young. I paired it up with some other items I owned. The shirt I got at a yard sale, and well, the shoes were also given to me by mom, and the necklace is also hers. Lol, so I guess most of the outfit is my moms. But any way. lol! ^^ Thought I'd post some pictures and show you. I was inspired today because I went with one of my friends to an Antique shop over near the college. It was so cute, they had adorable little tea sets, vanity mirror sets, and so much more. They even had an antique jewelry box, which I am very tempted to go back and get. lol. ^^ I love old-n-time things. They are so simple and yet elegant at the same time. Ahh... Christmas break is almost here. Just one more test to take which is on Friday in Biology, and I am free! I am so looking forward to some relaxation time. So many wonderful books are calling my name from my book self. lol. I just hadn't had the time to read lately with tests, work, studying. Craziness. But over break I plan to read a lot. Also looking forward to drawing, new art binder come New Years, tea parties, poetry readings, warm fire places, eggnog, and warm apple cider and Chi Tea. Christmas parties, Christmas caroling, Christmas shopping for my friends, being with friends and family, but most of all, I'm looking forward to celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ my savior. ^__^

The Prince of my Shadows

I got inspired to write this today after I found this music video. I love the song and video. It reminded me a lot of Cloud Keeprs (a story I'm writing), so thats why i got inspired to write this. It is about one of my characters Merina, and in the story I'm writing, there is a part in it where she becomes very angry and bitter. The guy she loved, Neyoko was murdered, and she can't let it go. Merina forms hatred in her heart towards his murderer and she has a hard time to ever forgive him. This poem is in her point of view, and it takes place while after Neyokos death. If you want to listen to the song while reading the poem I posted it at the bottom of the blog. This was what I was listening to when I wrote this. I hope you enjoy. ^__^


Every where I turn,
I see your shadow

Are you fallowing me?

Don’t watch me,
Don’t look at me

This girl I’ve become
You would not have loved

What’s been done to you,
I can not seem to forgive
Can’t seem to forget
I can’t let it go

I’ve become cold
Anger creeps into my throbbing blood filled veins
I scream every day

I’m getting stronger though
I will get revenge

I’ll shoot that demon back into hell where he belongs

Don’t look at me!
There’s your shadow again

I turned my face away,
But I feel you

I’m bitter!

I want to be with you…
Why did I have to be left behind?

I HATE him!!

He took you from me

He left me alone,
to bleed with my shattered heart of glass
It cuts me every time I breathe…

I see you…
Are you ashamed of me?
Maybe… don’t go just yet
Perhaps, are you trying to tell me something?

Is that why you can’t seem to cross over?

Maybe… it is not you that is the shadow,
But I

I have been creeping, creeping,
In my wallowing sorrow

It ate me and consumed my joy
Bitter disregards is all that remained

One more day with you
Prince!

Neyoko!

What is it you want me to know!
I’m diying inside!

...
yes,
I see it now.

I am the shadow

And in my heart
Forgivness is what I lack